Introductory Email
Dear Professor Blackstone,
I hope this email finds you well. I am How Kai Xiang from class S12 of your critical thinking and communication class, and I am writing this email to introduce myself to you.
I graduated from Ngee Ann Polytechnic with a diploma in Aerospace Electronics in 2021 and am currently a year one student at Singapore Institution of Technology, studying Mechanical Engineering. I changed my field of study from aerospace to mechanical engineering as after 3 years of learning about aerospace electronics, I realised that when it comes to engineering, I prefer things that relate to robots more than just planes.
Since I was younger, I have always liked a show called Kamen Rider, where the main character transforms with a belt into a cyborg superhero to fight the monster of the week. Long story short, I want to be able to make something like that in the future. That is my reason for joining mechanical engineering, to gain the fundamental skills to design and make such a fantastical item.
One of my strengths in communication is my skill to figure out what is require of me from a task. When issuing instructions, my ex-superior from NS used to give multiple instructions in the middle of a rant. Thus, I learnt to 'filter' task from 'filler' and list them out in terms of priority, allowing me to understand quickly what I need to do.
One of my weaknesses in communication is that I panic easily. When talking to others, I forget what I want to say within seconds of thinking of it. I believe that this might be due to my nerves when speaking so I try to practice my lines in my head before talking. However, this doesn't seem to work so I hope to be able to learn skills to overcome this problem from this course.
Other than speaking ability, I would also like to learn how to be more persuasive and how to think critically to improve my analytical skills.
Edit: One thing I believe that differentiates me from others is my ability to brainstorm ideas on the spot. When a problem comes up, I am able to throw out a solution, albeit an unrefined one, quite quickly.
Thank you for taking time to read this email, I look forward to seeing you in class again.
Yours Sincerely,
How Kai Xiang
Introduction read:
Cephas
Nicholas
Vishanth
Yip Jun Heng
Zaki
Its good that you take up mechanical engineering due to your passion in this field. Tells me that you'll be willing to put in the time and effort to finishing the full duration of the course.
ReplyDeleteHowever, i feel like you didn't answer the last point which is "what differentiates you from others?".
Thank you for the feedback! I have added a paragraph to fix the problem you have brought up. Please have a read!
DeleteA few grammatical errors but Great email in terms of organisation. perhaps, you could elaborate and state what kind of robots you are interested in as you mentioned that you preferred robots compared to planes.
ReplyDeleteThank you for the feedback! I have added an improved the description of my childhood hobby to explain better why I like robots more. Please have a read!
DeleteGreat content in your email. I like the fact that you have been so passionate about engineering since you were a kid. I hope that through this class you will be able to improve on your weakness to further improve yourself
ReplyDeleteWill do.
DeleteThank you, Kai Xiang, for this well crafted and very informative letter. I especially appreciate the sharing you’ve done in terms of your journey toward mechanical engineering and the way that your interest in cyborgs provided motivation. How interesting!
ReplyDeleteYou also detail your comm skills well and how these relate to your needs. Be assured that we will address the areas that you mention in your goals, including public speaking and communicating with more confidence and less 'nerves.'
As for language use, all is well in ths posts, though theere are a few issues with overuse of caps. Here's one example:
...of your Critical Thinking and Communication class...
I look forward to hearing more form you this term.
Cheers,
Brad
Noted. Thank you prof. I will edit the introduction letter as needed
Delete